Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
