i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
