I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
