great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
FUCK WHALES
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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