i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
