I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
