I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
