where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
