Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Randomize
