i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
