matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
