And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
