Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I am naked and annoyed.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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