I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
false alarm, still single
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