your thong is hanging out like whoa
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
