I'm drive I can fine osifer
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just forgot I was standing up.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
