I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
