i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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