Me too!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
