I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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