I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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