yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Randomize
