Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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