i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
