I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
