I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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