If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
