i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
