If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i am craving dick and cupcakes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
