Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
there is puke in my bra ... again
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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