I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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