He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
