Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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