Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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