I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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