The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
