At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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