apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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