you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
