I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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