At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Panties = found
Randomize
