the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
