spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
And then he peed in my hair
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