He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
