i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
