I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The power of my boobs compel you
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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