the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Say something about gay babies.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
