Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
