You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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