So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
