filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
